How about you and I make some new year’s resolutions for the year 2015?
I have to warn you, though:
It will be mercilessly honest and might lead to some of you getting angry with me – in which case maybe stop reading, but rather go and have a cup of coffee, or something.
To everyone else:
ready?
The five items are very simple, easily graspable things – but every one of them possesses the power to turn your life completely upside down.
So no “good advice”, no “well, that’s Joanna’s point of view”, and absolutely no “positive thinking - all will be well - New Age-y stuff”.
It’s all pure love – which is anyway the only thing that will help you along in the long run.
1. You take responsibility for your own life.
I was talking to a friend recently, and in the middle of the conversation he uttered a phrase that nearly made me gasp, as it was so clear and without compromise:
"Joanna, you have what you want.
What you don’t want – you do not have.
So don’t tell me what you want – just look at your life and you will know immediately what you want.”
I instantly knew what he meant – and at the same time it shocked me, as this means:
Change will only happen in your life, if – exclusively and undeniably so – you take responsibility for your own life.
You decide what you want.
You decide what you do not want.
You call the shots.
You are the boss (more about it HERE).
So don’t tell me that you do not want certain things in your life – if they are there, long-term, for months and years, you actually do want them after all.
Look closely at your life – without any pressure or guilty conscience or regret.
Is it the way you want it to be?
Or do you want to change things in certain areas?
I assure you: NOTHING will change, if YOU don’t do it.
Not in 2015.
Not in 5 years.
Never.
Dream and wish as much as you like, complain that you are a special case – if you do not take responsibility for your life, nothing will change for you.
You are not a special case.
No matter how unkind people were to you, and how horrible your circumstances are, and how difficult the preconditions.
If you take responsibility for your life, the following will happen:
2. You do not tolerate excuses.
It is a terrible thing when other people lie to you – if you ever experienced it, you know how much it can hurt when confidence is shaken.
Yet a much worse thing is lying to yourself!
And excuses do exactly that.
If you do not tolerate excuses anymore and do not accept any backtalk, the things that you have always wanted to do/achieve/experience suddenly become very simple!
It is really true!
Because excuses were nothing but lies that kept you from taking steps towards freedom and happiness.
A few weeks ago I struggled with a big personal challenge.
For a long time I tried to overcome this issue – I failed over and over again.
Jil happened to come visit for a few days, we started talking and I told her quite frankly how much I wished to finally succeed and that I had failed for such a long time.
She looked at me and simply said:
"Go and do it. Now.”
Me: "What do you mean…now? Right this instant?”
Jil: "Now."
Me: "But that’s not possible! I can’t/don’t want to/am not ready/won’t manage/another time/today is a bad day/I feel overwhelmed, blablablaaa…(a concoction of excuses, DELUXE style! Yes, I can, anytime, anywhere!)
Jil (laughing): "I don’t care. The one who is talking isn’t you. You are going to do it NOW.”
Me: "But... but... I won’t manage, etc. ..."
Jil (super strict): "MOM!"
(followed by a short dispute with me whining and reciting my excuses, and Jil simply saying “MOM!!! It isn’t you!” every time, refusing to listen to me – and lastly almost forcing me to do it.)
So I did it.
I definitely hadn’t been liberated so quickly ever before.
When the excuses failed to work it was the easiest step in the world.
You can check HERE what you can do to disarm your excuses.
3. You do not make a “resolution”, you take concrete steps.
If you want to lose weight, you omit sugar and all the fat – and replace it with a lot of vegetables, fruit and liquids.
If you want to exercise, you start today – you can go for a run and at least do an easy workout (find something on Youtube, there are innumerable ones).
If you want to move house, find a new apartment – by looking at the ads today and arranging appointments to view.
If you want a new job, find job offers and apply.
Or you go straight to your dream employer and introduce yourself, even if they are not looking for anyone (I would ALWAYS choose this route!).
If you have “always wanted to visit Paris”, just book a flight or buy a train ticket.
If you want to dare and do something entirely new, write a list and check it off, bullet point by bullet point.
If you want to be more organized, tidy your bedroom today.
Or just one closet in the bedroom, for all I care.
Okay, only the sock drawer.
Everything you have always wanted to do:
Take the first step today.
Not 5, not 20, not everything at once.
Just get practical and take a small step.
4. Dream big…
We all hung out on the couch in our PJs one recent Saturday morning and I had the idea to write a little list:
Everyone was supposed to spontaneously write down 3 material goods they wished for – without overthinking it.
Simply the first 3 wishes that come to mind.
# 1 on my list was ”a new kitchen” (which turned into reality faster than I ever thought possible, see HERE), Noelle’s wish slips my mind right now, and on top of my husband’s list was “a superyacht.”
After we had all recovered from the laughing fit, my husband shrugged his shoulders and said that he actually does not really want a superyacht, but:
"Ha ha, your wishes are so tiny that you don’t even need God to realize them!”
You have to understand one thing:
You can actually achieve most things through your own efforts.
Really, it works!
You can buy an infinite amount of motivational and business books, you can toil day and night, you can find a coach and attend workshops and seminars – and you will “succeed” in the end.
You can apply principles, strategies and methods to reach your goals.
But how about the truly exciting things, the ones that seem almost humanly impossible, the ones that have never been done by anyone before – how about those?
How about things that nobody has ever experienced?
That go beyond your wildest dreams and wishes?
That outshine anything that has come before?
All this is not quite possible with your efforts alone, with this you really need help from above!
Before this creates a misunderstanding: I don’t necessarily talk about material goods.
Can I tell you something?
I don’t care about success at all.
It is of absolutely no importance to me whether the number of readers increases, whether I get featured anywhere, whether I am well-known, and whether I earn tons of money and get invited to events.
I am happy about new readers and sponsors, but don’t shed a tear for those who leave.
It does not mean all that much to me.
I don’t want to “achieve” anything or build a big business, and you are probably a little bit shocked now by my lack of ambition.
I simply want to love.
To inspire and liberate people.
I want them to at least once in their life experience God, laugh with Him, enjoy Him, whatever – simply by spending time with me, looking me in the eye or reading something that was written by me.
The fact that I turn everything I touch into gold is, in my opinion, simply a logical consequence of love – success kind of follows automatically.
But I do not chase it, nor do I frantically wreck my brain about how to have more of it and I do not apply any techniques in order to “increase readership”.
All of this would really be easily achievable through my own efforts (and personally I would find it most despicable.)
Do you know what makes me tick?
If you read a single one of my posts and suddenly your life changes, because something clicks in your heart.
Or if you had a bad day and suddenly you have the best evening, all because of a cake recipe, and the bad stuff has vanished – without ever having made the cake!
Or if my love knocks you off your feet in such a way that you can only be permanently crazy-happy without even knowing why.
Or if you do not accept so much emotional drama in your life anymore – instead everything suddenly seems very easy and light to you – when all I did was write something about fashion, or so.
Or if you decide to part ways with negative people – simply because I personally decided this for myself and you automatically want exactly THAT, without having known it.
That’s what fascinates me!
I absolutely feel like things that the human rational mind cannot explain, that surpass everything else by far, that extend the familiar scope.
I want to experience what love can do, if you let it.
Everything else has already been around, and honestly?
It bores me to tears.
It certainly is not a resolution that can be achieved in 3 steps, but it is a basic decision of mine that everything else derives from.
5. ... but stay faithful with the little things.
I can assure you one thing – no matter which change you are wishing for – it will definitely take longer than originally planned.
So don’t be disappointed, don’t get impatient or even frustrated!
God has a lot of time.
Never put yourself under pressure – you are in the middle of a process.
Enjoy your change!
Enjoy the process!
Don’t wait for happiness “once my dreams have become reality” – then you won’t be happy once the time has come.
If you have to look after your success yourself, you are responsible for everything and have to fight for everything yourself.
Yet if you trust in God, if you trust that He will lead you to the right places at the right time, and that He will guide you so obviously that you know exactly when to do what, you can truly relax – and simply be joyful about every second of your life.
HERE you can read how to enjoy life, even if you have not yet arrived where you want to be.
Jil sometimes says things like:
"You know, I am happy about every job offer that comes along. And I am equally grateful about every job that I do not get offered.”
Or (one of my favorite quotes by her):
"With time comes the designer handbag.”
You see:
You alone can decide where the journey will take you – all the while enjoying every part of it to the max.
You can take steps in the knowledge that everything will happen at the right time.
And there is no need to complain about arriving somewhere you have never wanted to be – because who is solely responsible for that?
Exactly.
Oh, how beautiful!
Love,
Joanna
P.s.
My concrete resolutions?
1. I will part with a lot of things – moving supports this wonderfully.
And I will start doing so in January already.
(yes, I write this down deliberately, so that I do not procrastinate a hundred times.
And you can get on my nerves and ask me about it.)
Books, clothes, decoration items, dishes and furniture – a lot of things may go!
2. I want to spend even more quality time than I already do with my teenagers this year.
Since my husband moved to Berlin, I almost enjoy even more to be out and about with them, because my focus is entirely on them – we just have so much fun together!
We will move to a new town and I am very much looking forward already to discovering it together with them: new favorite coffee shops, museums, flea markets and movie theaters.
(this, by the way, means that I cancel most requests for interviews and event invitations that I get in the mail every day. As it’s a fact that spending more time with the kids and working full-time just does not go together.)
3. I would love to make videos, once we have moved!
("Once we have moved” has become a running gag here, by the way, as everything will of course be more beautiful and better and anyway totally different.)
I just remembered that I will need a new camera for those videos – mine is nearly 8 years old and does not even have that function. So I will buy a new camera – something I dread a little, because mine just fits me like a glove in its familiarity.
4. Last year was mainly the year of looking for a new home, which is why we hadn’t booked a long vacation.
This year, though, I will travel all the further – I will tell you soon where to.
5. "Once we have moved” I will logically need a whole lot of new things – as we will have a lot of space and I will have said good-bye to everything useless (see #1).
This is why I, together with my husband, intend to visit a few flea markets abroad – and tell you whether it is worth the trouble.
6. Exercise more.
Unfortunately I neglected my workout program – the fact that I am slim easily lets you forget that my fitness level has greatly diminished.
A few days ago I started doing some easy workouts again, and I am shocked how rusty one can become after a short time.
When I think of how I used to do rhythmic gymnastics as a young girl, bending my body in more ways than most people can imagine, I currently have the fitness of a piece of toast in comparison.
With physical exercise one has to be patient and do things continuously in order to achieve visible results, but that’s OK, since patience is a basic characteristic of a love messenger ;).
"Once we have moved" I will be around the corner from a lovely running trail along the river.
But unfortunately it will take a while UNTIL we will have moved.
Doesn’t matter, because:
With time comes the designer handbag!
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