Jil wrote this post for you:
Enjoy reading!
Joanna
A few days ago an Italian fashion label booked me for a job; they thought I was great and they definitely wanted to have me.
Before the actual job there is often a fitting in order to optimally prepare everything.
At first everything went very well, until finally the lady in charge said it was a “runway collection”.
I was surprised for a second, since I knew: “OK, great. I might as well have three of my ribs removed for this.”
I exercise a lot, I eat very healthy, and generally one could say I have all it takes to work in this field.
Yet not even my right calf fits into a runway collection.
Not even one size up.
After they brought me a pair of pants two (!) sizes up they were still too tight around my thighs.
Two days later the job was cancelled.
I am, strictly speaking, a plus size model.
Yes, you heard me right.
Whatever the rest of the world considers completely normal and slim this business considers chubby.
I am a little hippo.
I am considered “curvy” – and in this case it is definitely NOT meant as a compliment.
In professional situations similar to the one above they “stare” at me, utterly horrified.
Everyone is entirely stunned about how on earth I don’t fit into this garment and how dare I possess so much flesh.
(Yes, these are truly their thoughts, the completely unaltered truth.)
What is wrong with this image?
Everyone claims:
Yes, it does exist, the perfect body.
36:24:36, a small waist, slim legs, a round butt.
And this is how you instantly realize what you don’t have.
To make sure we don’t forget what the perfect body looks like we are always, everywhere and in all detail made aware of how exactly it is supposed to look like.
Blogs, Facebook, Instagram accounts, bill boards, we are surrounded by the image of the beautiful ideal image how limbs are to be assembled.
How do we get here then?
1. The ideal beauty.
An ideal is a goal recognized as the highest value, an idea one strives to realize.
An ideal in itself has to remain unattainable; otherwise any attention and amazement would be superfluous.
Because then the ideal would be powerless or, even worse, debunked as something unreal.
Our idea of beauty is developed based on an industry that is completely removed from reality, puts women into children sizes and works magic with the help of Photoshop.
A make-believe world completely absorbed with itself, like a bubble.
Anything beyond itself seems impossible and disgusting.
(this is also the explanation for the horrified looks of the customers, when I don’t fit into size zero pants; they are simply stunned.)
What else happens when you see images produced by this make-believe world?
Whether consciously or unconsciously one immediately drwas comparisons, finds fault with what’s wrong and ponders about how to achieve this goal.
How do you feel doing so?
Only bad, actually.
You automatically have a bad feeling, instantly remembering the bullet points on your “Dream Body 2015” plan which have to be worked on and realized from tomorrow on.
There is only one thing behind this whole fitness and healthy eating craze, the motivational pages and “inspiration images”:
Inferiority.
The definition of beauty in our world therefore is this:
The subordination of a personality to an unattainable lie.
In other words:
As soon as you allow this thought to engage you and live through you, you will always chase after something unattainable while loosing yourself.
This energy will always tell you that you are not enough.
A voice telling you that your legs are woooorlds apart from the ones of a super model.
Everything behind this concept is deceptive.
An altered illusion, a deeply judging insecurity with only one goal: bombarding you with doubts about yourself.
Or at least to make you occupy yourself with them.
This energy is the trigger for anorexia, bulimia, bullying in school and cha-ching for personal trainers and psychologists.
Which part of the paragraph above sounds attractive to you?
None.
Why do you believe it then?
Because this is all you know.
And I think today is the perfect day to unmask this untruth.
2. Your new awareness of yourself.
So how about I tell you about reality?
It doesn’t require an editing program.
You were born into this world with a perfectly functioning organism.
Your whole body is a closed system, a precise clockwork, which knows exactly what it needs to run smoothly.
Every little procedure is planned to a t.
Nature has not equipped you with problem areas, why should it?
Your DNA has no room for this.
You are absolutely complete, perfect, and beautiful down to the smallest cell. Entirely unique and never before has anyone laid eyes on something like that!
Only you have hands like this, nobody else walks to work with these legs and nobody ever will possess a belly like this.
The combination of eye, skin and hair color is highly aesthetic and purely brilliant.
You were chosen to enjoy this body every day, just you.
Why do you still waste one more day not feeling well inside of it?
"But it’s simply that I feel uncomfortable with my thighs!”
- Of course, you hear it all day long.
You don’t have a choice when living in this world.
So all you have to do is make yourself aware of the truth.
"But I really don’t fit into the clothes of this mainstream store?”
- That’s true, every big label produces goods in bulk manufactured according to one size, which consists of numbers, nothing but numbers.
They don’t show how much you are worth or which box you may be put into.
Also, many labels shrink their normal sizes every year (it’s really true).
"But people look at me funny all the time, or I hear stupid remarks here and there.”
What others think about you is none of your business.
Not your responsibility.
My task for you:
During the next 5 weeks you will call “STOP!” out loud every time a negative thought about your body crosses your mind or you compare yourself with somebody else.
And this ‘Stop’ will reject anything that does not enhance the perfection of your self.
Anything that does not match your beauty has no business in your thoughts either.
You consciously will not allow it from now on.
(After 5 weeks of successful calling out loud it is pretty certain that a quick thought is enough to send any self doubts packing.)
If I get funny looks because of one of those jobs, because the stylist has to search for a bigger size, I make myself aware of one thing:
All the negative things associated with my body have nothing to do with myself.
It is the others that are wrong.
They are the warped ones, they have to change their attitude – it is not my fault (or YOURS)!
I am full of pure life energy, power, joy, beauty; this is all that counts.
I remove myself from that situation; I move away from this twisted system and leave nothing but my joy behind.
I do not let the situation influence or, even less so, impress me.
Because I am really good at my job.
And this will make the rounds, no matter which number is printed on a tag.
So you will only see the perfect body you were given and inside of which you are allowed to live.
Nothing else is your business anymore; any other thought is nothing but a waste of time.
Instead of engaging with comparing yourself with other women all you know is the pure pleasure derived from anything to do with YOU.
You don’t talk yourself into something, you simply become aware of yourself.
That’s all.
As if you reminded yourself of your name every morning so that you won’t forget it.
3. What’s the remedy?
"But you can always optimize things, for example your diet!”
Yes, sure, after all there are a great number of new plans, diet regimes, rules, which all are supposed to be followed.
No bananas after 3 pm, no carbs at dinnertime, lots and lots of green juice and vegetables.
Or hold on – wasn’t it no gluten until 12:30 pm, only cabbage soup on Tuesdays and smoothies every morning?
It is easy to get confused with all these experts, you better only live from air from now on, although its fat contents has never been researched at large….
What have all these regulations have in common?
You will not stick to them in the long run.
There will be the day when you falter, give up, when you walk past that fantastic Italian restaurant and order the biggest portion of truffle pasta that this establishment has ever seen.
(Someone has actually done this…that crazy lady supposedly also gobbled up the tiramisu!)
How about the following rule: from this day on you teach yourself how to really enjoy food again and you won’t have a guilty conscience.
You will eat every bite, no matter what it might be, in the awareness that you allow yourself something truly delicious again – every day!
What exactly is good for you?
As a matter of fact, this is something your perfectly organized body knows quite well.
It knows when it is full, when it needs vitamins and when it needs to replenish energy.
It will tell you intuitively, all you have to do is listen.
Your body tells you chicken wings all day long?
Trained by your environment your brain may have learned other things:
... mom who always made you finish your food,
... an everyday life that familiarized you with frozen pizza,
....the convenience of food delivery from the comfort of your couch,
- your intuition certainly forgot a few things on the way.
No problem, it will only get better:
By taking a little more time listening and leaving the criticism behind you will find exactly to that spot.
You can further support this physical well-being by being active.
I’m not talking about the 10-day-bikini-size-zero-butt-lift program, but about moving, because it is fun.
How often, for how long, how exactly and with whom – this is only up to you.
Say good-bye to the thought that you have to take a certain path; all that counts is that you are good to yourself.
It doesn’t matter whether you are eating a meal or are pouring sweat under some fitness equipment; you are always just good to yourself.
But as soon as something becomes a compulsion, feels funny, screams renunciation or displays firm rules and limitations this is not the case anymore.
4. The plan.
Now you can finally cut yourself loose, you can lead your tied-down body away from this lie.
You part with thinking you have to fit into a certain size.
Say good-bye to the fear of being unattractive for other men.
Just leave this burden behind you; it smothers you, suffocates you and always makes you feel insufficient.
Now when you look in the mirror your beauty will be able to reveal itself for the first time.
Only this liberation will make you understand who you are and what you look like.
You understand that everything that was inadequate before had NOTHING to do with yourself.
You have never seen yourself properly, only ever this lopsided, sick view of your body, as if your mirror was fogged up or dirty.
Your view is clear for the first time, focused and unimpressed by outward expectations.
Now you can finally enjoy yourself completely, make your beauty express itself, live your beauty.
This marks the beginning of something totally new and precious.
You recognize yourself now.
Everything that is part of yourself and defines you.
You stay away from the definitions of this world and find your way back to what was reflected in your mirror all along.
Yourself.
And this is the most beautiful thing that exists in this world.
Lots of love,
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