Montag, 13. April 2015

4 things Cinderella can teach you.

With language development in mind I decided to take the children to the movies here in Santa Cruz at least once a week. 
(Which is one reason, the other is the fact that some movie theaters have super big, super soft seats that can be completely reclined.) 

Yesterday we all went to see the new adaptation of Cinderella – after only a few minutes Noelle and I were "Team Stepmother" - the one and only reason being Cate Blanchett’s breathtakingly beautiful costumes. 
Definitely worth watching.

Apart from that the movie really inspired me, because Cinderella can teach us all a lot! 
She can teach us how to NOT do things.

1. Cinderella is passive.

We all know the story: 
Cinderella’s father dies an unexpectedly untimely death and the step mom instantly reveals herself as the beast that degrades the actual heiress of the estate to a servant. 

During the movie Cinderella acts according to the life philosophy her mother left her on her deathbed: 
"have courage and be kind".
For Cinderella this means more likely: be everybody’s doormat.  
Although the step mom humiliates the girl more and more every day, Cinderella takes it all without talking back much. 

What this means for your life:

Friendliness and kindness have nothing in common with victimhood or self-denial. 
This is a kind of pleasing of people that has gone wrong, or even more than that: 
It is basically modern slavery. 

If others take you down in order to stand taller themselves and live their lives at your cost, it is very much the wrong place for you. 
And the wrong companions.
You have absolutely no business there: be it a job, a relationship, or family circumstances. 

Truth is:
NOTHING will change, if you don’t leave it. 
No fairy will appear, no mouse will knit something for you, and no prince will show up on his horse. 

You are free.
Nothing can keep you in a place where you are not treated with appreciation and love.
You cannot hold anyone responsible – and the step mom least of all.
To endure it all is not at all courageous. 
Courageous means: to take a step out of this dependency and then never to look back. 

THAT is courageous.

And it is the only thing that befits you. 

Not silent crying in the corner, because the world is so bad, although you “have always given your everything” and “have always meant well”. 
Passiveness is an energy that keeps you small and robs you of your potential – not people. 
It is your passive attitude.

Only freedom and strength are worthy of a love messenger. 
Only freedom and strength.

2. Cinderella lives in the past. 

The girl is asked by a former servant why she does not leave the estate to end the slave-like relationship to her step mom, since she is obviously so miserable there. 
Her answer is:
"Because I know how much my parents loved this house.” 

Later in the movie she also accepts staying locked up in the attic and to indulge in the memories of the ball – she doesn’t make any attempt whatsoever to change her situation. 
She’d rather remain in the past in her thoughts, because it was “the most beautiful time of her life”. 

What it means for your life:

You do. not. at. all need memories of the past. 

You automatically assume that every moment of your life is always fresh, always new, always inspiring – and this is why you concentrate on the present with everything you are. 

If your thoughts run away to the past you call them back immediately – just like a dog that runs too far into the woods. 
"Pffffffft! Come here!"

You do not allow yourself trips to yesterday, no wallowing in the last 10 years, any melancholic lingering in days gone by.  
Even if they were ever so lovely and me, back then, ever so young….

There are two reasons:

1. You cannot change ANYTHING in the past. 
No matter how bad or good something was – it is OVER. 
You have no opportunity to change even the slightest thing – much as you wish to do so! 
So it is a kind of used-up energy that you invest your new energy in. 
You might even paint everything in brighter colors than they actually were – God beware! 

2. Because this is what you do as a love messenger. 
Take this!
Sometimes you simply have to trust me, even if your brain cannot follow 100%. 
If you want to walk this path with me it means: stay here and don’t look back. 
Things will keep getting MORE BEAUTIFUL, STRONGER, MORE LIBERATED for you anyway – what’s your point in looking back? 

"But Joanna, I love wallowing in memories. They turned me into the person I am today!” 

Sure, you can do that, if you like – but the two of us will not meet this way. 
You EITHER keep loving your melancholic trips, OR you kick the old stuff in the butt and walk with me from now on. 
Your choice.

Your decision, your responsibility. 
But no whining that the step mom was so bad. 

Oh, right, which takes me to the next topic: 

3. Cinderella is horrified about other people’s malice. 

There is a scene towards the end of the movie when Cinderella’s eyes widen in horror and she asks the step mom in absolute bewilderment: 
"Why are you so cruel???"

That was my favorite “head-table” situation in the whole movie: 
"why do you treat me so badly?” 
I didn’t do anything to hurt you?
I have always been a good girl – and this is your thanks? 
How can you be so cruel?

What it means for your life:

The world IS bad – there are many bastards in it. 
If you believe the contrary you live in a fairy tale. 
Nope, no way it is all “all love, every person, every animal, every tree.” – this is just esoteric gibberish. 

And you are not on this planet to win over bastards, to chase them or to please them! 
There are sooo many people who love you, appreciate you and are immensely grateful to be able to spend time with you; don’t waste one single thought on the bastards. 

NOBODY in this world is worth it to be allowed to treat you badly.

So you do not need to be surprised, when once again he or she is “so mean” to you, although you “only had their best interest at heart”. 
The best thing for him is, if you are no longer near him. 

Out there is a world only waiting for you – full of new chances, opportunities and adventures. 

So no whining how mean someone was to you and don’t be horrified about it; just be grateful that now you know for sure: 
"OK. This here is not for me.” 
And then you pick yourself up and WALK AWAY. 

4. Cinderella’s life changes due to coincidence. 

Cinderella rides her horse into the woods – and VERY coincidentally meets the prince while hunting. 
The step mom doesn’t allow her to attend the ball - and VERY coincidentally a fairy appears that fixes everything, including outfit, styling and mode of transport. 

What does Cinderella do to earn this?
Pure coincidence.
Lucky her.


What this means for your life:

Some people are just lucky, right? 
And some are unlucky over and over again, nothing you can do, right? 

If you are waiting that one day a fairy appears to save you from your boring misery, you might as well apply for the lead in the next adaptation of Sleeping Beauty. 

NOTHING will change, if you do not make a decision. 

Most things do not depend on LUCK – this “and suddenly a prince appeared and everything changed”. 
All change is preceded by a decision, a kind of awareness that something needs to change. 
The way you look at life. 
An awareness who you are: you are NOT a servant. 

Some of you write that I am “so lucky” to be able to live in California, “so lucky” that I found such a pretty house, “so lucky” that my husband supports my decision.  

Of course it is a huge gift and a privilege – as without certain practicalities this simply wouldn’t have been possible. 
But this is the smallest contributing factor! 

I wasn’t “lucky” – I just decided: yes. I will do this. And then I acted. 
I wasn’t “lucky” – I just picked out the prettiest house within my financial limits. I wouldn’t have moved into an ugly one ;). 
I wasn’t “lucky” – if a man tried to limit my freedom I would long be separated ;). 

You see my point?

California didn’t just show up, “Oh, how lucky”, it is simply an expression of my awareness, this “nothing is impossible”, this “why not do something exceptional?”, this “now that I was given this life it is MY call to turn it into the most beautiful one possible”. 

California (or the loft, or whatever else.) was neither conjured up by a fairy for me, nor was it crafted by a mouse, nor did it ‘magically’ fall from the sky – it was all due to the attitude from my heart. 
And the decisions I made in its wake and the steps that I took as a logical consequence. 

And yes, this was followed up by opportunities. 
A car was placed at my disposal. 
My kids could stay with Eva and go to school there. 
Fantastic – and pure gifts I had done nothing to deserve and that I am very grateful for! 

But I wouldn’t have experienced all this, if I hadn’t taken the first step. 

You understand:
I am not a fan of this "work hard on your success." – after all, anyone can do that, and you don’t need God for it. 
But now THAT I have been given everything from God and that I am absolutely free, I will most certainly not hand my life over to passiveness or fear. 
Because I am absolutely aware of who I am. 
And I seriously deem myself too precious to do this. 

And I also deem YOU too precious. 
And this is why I will just take you along. 



Thank you for translating this post to Eva Ginnell!

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