5 things you didn’t learn in school: The Power of Overcoming.

You learn many important things for life in school, which is very nice. 

And you also learn very many unimportant things for life there. 

But you don’t learn the MOST IMPORTANT ONES. 

(If you’re lucky your parents will teach them to you, or you laboriously learn them through personal, partly painful experiences. If you’re really unlucky you will never learn them and you’ll have to die ignorant. And nobody wants that.) 

But it’s not all that bad, as you can catch up on anything – at any age! 

No matter whether you are 14 or 64 years old, I will tell you something today that will really help you out in life. 

I have mentioned this subject countless times on the blog already, but it doesn’t matter: just like in school, repetition is the most important thing! 

Today’s subject is: 

How to deal with difficulties. 

I am happy for anyone who has no challenges or problems to deal with whatsoever in their lives; usually these are people who are already deceased.

Truth is: 

Anyone who is alive will run into challenges sooner or later. 

And I don’t mean situations such as when someone ignores your right of way at the intersection or you had a bad day – I mean real problems that rob you of your sleep at night and of your joie de vivre during the day. 

Things that are seemingly irresolvable and a well-intentioned “It’ll all work out” won’t cut it. 

As my secret is not having no challenges at all, it is how I deal with them. 

And I don’t mind sharing it, because it will help you significantly in your life. 

Let’s assume you are in the middle of a truly challenging situation, what now? 

1. DON’T PANIC.

The first thing that happens when a negative situation or negative news hit: 

Paaaaniiiic!

Draaaaamaaaa!

More paaaaniiiic!

Even more draaaamaaaa!

It is so common that it’s almost boring; matching any situation there is a whole bundle of dramatic thoughts and emotions in the vein of: 

"Everything is so, so bad and it will get only worse and we will all die unhappily while the world is going down the drain.” 

Well, not exactly LIKE THAT, but exactly fitting your circumstances. 

If you are handed an unexpected notice, the accompanying drama sounds like this: 

"The employment situation is very bad right now, I will not find another job, won’t be able to pay the rent, will end up as a social outcast and will starve to death.”  

If your partner dumps you, we get: 

"He was the best thing that ever happened to me, I will never again love anyone the way I loved him or I won’t find anyone else in the first place, I will stay lonely and by myself, will suffer every Sunday and vacation times until the day I die and nobody looooves meee!” 

If you have problems with your kids over an extended period of time, the scenario sounds like so: 

"I am a horrible mother/I do everything wrong/I do too much/too little/too often/too rarely/in any case not enough. My children will grow up to be asocial brats, unsuccessful and unhappy people and it’s all my fault!” 

Well?

Sound familiar?

Of course, it is always the same anyway, for thousands of years nothing new in this sector! 

So here is my advice:

Don’t panic.

Everything’s fine.

Stay calm.

Don’t run riot, don’t call umpteen people, don’t make any rash decisions or get ahead of yourself. 

First just calm down.

"But Joanna, how am I supposed to do this? It all just washes over me, I am at its mercy, powerless!”   

No, you’re not. 

You only thought you were until now – but the truth is that you can simply refuse to participate.

2. REFUSE TO PONDER. 

If I find myself in terrible circumstances I forbid myself to ponder on it. 

I simply forbid it myself.

I’m not going to let myself be tortured (and believe me, these thoughts can actually be torturous, sometimes nearly worse than physical pain!), I do not engage, I won’t let myself be a slave of fear. 

I value myself too highly for this. 

My freedom came at a high price – free from having to worry. 

I am quite consistent in this and as soon as I notice that my thoughts start circling around stuff like that I say “Stop!”. 

Or quit it already, I don’t have a set system here. 

"But Joanna, I need a solution for the problem! I do have to think about it!” 

Now listen closely: 

The solution never, ever, EVER comes through pondering. 

Don’t allow yourself to be screwed over, pondering sounds so logical and necessary, but it is torture, nothing more! 

Although you might neither know the solution to your problem in this very moment, nor is it becoming apparent, but you don’t even have to see it right now. 

Time will bring the solution. 

It is already in existence, only you don’t know of it yet– which is even quite a good thing, I will explain it to you in my last point! 

Don’t panic.

Don’t fear.

And don’t allow pondering.

I purposefully write: REFUSE, because sometimes you should handle these things quite decisively and without compromise. 

All these worrisome thoughts don’t want to come and play. 

They want to destroy you, rob you of your joie de vivre, want to belittle you, rob you of your inspiration and creativity and never let your personality shine. 

(People suffering from depression know very well what I mean.) 

So nip it in the bud. 

Be watchful like a fox, don’t engage.

"Oh, Joanna, but it is so hard for me!” 

In the beginning you’re not used to it, I admit it! 

But if you can manage only 2 minutes in the beginning, that’s awesome! 

What will help you greatly is: 

2. DO NOT BELIEVE YOUR EMOTIONS. 

You can be sure of one thing: 

The more important the matter is to you, the worse you will feel. 

Your feelings will be on a roller coaster ride, up and unfortunately mostly down, round and around, wanting to whine to anybody, etc., etc. 

Right now you CANNOT rely on them at all. 

Look, all they do is react to your circumstances! 

They have no say, so you might as well ignore them. 

If your thoughts think they should throw a tantrum like a 3-year-old in the candy aisle or a 13-year-old when confronted with a Nintendo ban, whatever. 

I won’t play along.

You get it:

I don’t wait until I “feel good” – I don’t wait until I feel I’m not afraid anymore – I don’t wait for the emotions and then follow them.  

Who is the master and who is the dog? 

See.

So if the emotions happen to be quite terrible, I personally do simply one thing:

I don’t believe them.

I don’t take them seriously.

I don’t attach any greater importance to them.

Rather I think: "Oh well. Drama is on offer again, because you didn’t get any m&m’s? Just keep on bawling, I’m going to continue in the mean time.” 

"But Joanna, one shouldn’t suppress one’s emotions like that!” 

Oh, really?

It’s as if you said, when training your dog: “I don’t want to set any boundaries for my dog, as I will suppress his personality!”.

Sure, and the dog will do his thing, with his oh-so-liberated personality he will pee everywhere, jump up at other people and pull on his leash the whole time. 

So if you want to always “act out” your emotions and not “suppress” them, you have to expect that they will take you for a ride all your life and you have to live with the consequences:   

Your floors will be peed on. Shoes will be chewed on and everything will be somewhat unpredictable. 

A dog loves to have boundaries, believe me! 

But someone has to say it: “OK. So far and no further.” 

I am quite relaxed about it: if I want to cry or I feel like it, I cry. 

I also would never say I feel great, if I feel lousy – that would be a strange restraint in my opinion. 

But in principle I won’t be lived by some weird emotions, for goodness sake!  

Be they fears, guilt, worries, undefined stomach aches or other disgusting things: not for me. 

"But Joanna, how am I going to achieve this?"

Well, just like with a dog!

At first a puppy won’t understand either that he is not allowed to do everything. 

But by and by it’ll work, and then he really likes to obey and is even happy about it! 

YOU ARE CAPABLE to set boundaries for your emotions. 

You can tell them: “OK, it’s enough now. Everything’s fine, you can relax now.” 

And if they don’t relax instantly, doesn’t matter. 

It will work, maybe the third or the fifteenth time. 

Just keep at it.

"But Joanna, this still doesn’t solve my problem!” 

Oh, right, I forgot. 

Sorry, I had forgotten all about THE PROBLEM. 

And it is SO TERRIBLE! 

(see, this is what happens to me all the time in my everyday life. I completely forget how terrible my problems are. I even forget they exist! What disrespect towards the problems…). 

OK, so here is the solution:

4. DECIDE THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS THE EXCEPTION. 

Your attitude has enormous power, you underestimate it constantly. 

You can’t remember right now what your attitude is? 

It happens when the circumstances bawl so loudly over m&m’s; I will gladly remind you: 

You are always the exception.

You trust love and naturally assume that you are privileged and showered with gifts, anywhere. 

Only the most beautiful and the best awaits you, completely undeservedly, NO MATTER HOW THINGS SEEM TO BE RIGHT NOW. 

Absolutely brazenly blessed, NO MATTER HOW MANY SAID IT WAS DIFFERENT.

You don’t look at other people’s (negative) experiences and why should you, when you are the exception? 

You don’t even regard your own negative experiences (since there are also a few to choose from.) 

You never loose, but always gain. 

Your nights are reserved for peace and regeneration, your days for pleasure – you have no time for worries. 

You don’t believe the circumstances, you believe love. 

You know it is the strongest force and therefore overcomes everything else and at the same time is so endlessly good for everyone around you. 

I decided for myself that this is exactly my attitude. 

And this is what I trust in, stubbornly. Like a mule. 

And if the world stops existing – and if nobody except me can see it that way – and if everything points to the exact opposite – I don’t care at all. 

My attitude won’t change. 

It is the attitude of an ambassador of love, and if you want, it can be yours, too. 

And finally the best:

4. THE POWER OF OVERCOMING.

Every time you decide to mentally stand up and not believe in the bad, when in the midst of bad circumstances, YOU WILL GROW STRONGER. 

Every time you decide to trust love more than the drama around you, when facing loudly yelling challenges, YOU WILL GROW STRONGER.

Every time you refuse to wallow in self pity due to the situation, or to give up or to change your attitude, YOU WILL GROW STRONGER.

Every time you decide to forgive people and not become bitter and hard, although you are being treated very badly, YOU WILL GROW STRONGER.

Every time you decide for yourself to be happy, although the circumstances don’t show any reason at the moment to be happy, YOU WILL GROW STRONGER.

Every time you refuse to ponder, to worry or when you simply decide "I don't give an f***.", although everything on the outside screams for your attention, YOU WILL GROW STRONGER.

This means: overcoming.

Not: "Oh, the problem is solved, I finally feel better again.” 

But to stand strong in the eye of the storm and like a little kid be curious which great thing it will turn into next.  

Although it doesn’t look great at all and it also isn’t on the horizon yet either. 

Truth is:

There is hardly a quicker and simpler way to become strong, beautiful and radiant than to overcome circumstances. 

So this is why it is a gift when the time that elapses between the emergence of the problem and the actual solution is a little longer: you will have lots of chances to get strong! 

I know you might not really like to read it, but: 

THIS is the path to real, strong personalities. 

Those who simply grow stronger with every challenge, who blossom, inspire others and lead the way. 

True leaders.

LIKE YOU!

Love,

Joanna

Part I HERE.

Part II HERE.

Translated by Ginnell Studio.

The Candy Color Side of Life.

I haven’t even told you the best thing about Santa Cruz yet. 

Or let’s say, ALMOST the best thing. 

Not far from our house is the "Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk", a kind of amusement park located directly on the beach. 

So you ride the roller coaster and at the same time look out on the ocean. 

Assuming, of course, you can still look anywhere at all and don’t have your eyes closed shut while at once screaming and secretly hoping for the best that you will be able to leave this machine from hell alive again.  

The kids are much more unabashed and while they also scream, they scream with joy. 

I kind of feel quite old. 

The Santa Cruz Boardwalk is beautifully colorful and full of bright candy colors and to match it I slipped into one of my absolute favorite dresses: bright yellow like some of the gondolas floating in the sky. 

I found the dress in one of San Francisco’s thrift stores and discovered shortly afterwards that it is impossible to wear it and remain inconspicuous at the same time. 

But after all this is not what I am on this world for ;). 

My daughters call it the "Cameron Diaz" dress. 

For your favorite pieces that you are particularly fond of it is worth using a special laundry detergent so that the colors stay brilliant for as long as possible and the piece of clothing doesn’t look limp and sad after just 3 cycles in the washer – such as the Optimal Color laundry detergent by CORAL*.

It is ideal for my yellow dress! 

3 further tips for possible future visitors to the beautiful Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk:

1. Just because something is made of wood doesn’t mean at all it is harmless. 

2. If the roller coasters haven’t managed to make you sick, why don’t you try corndogs (a kind of hotdog, whereby the sausage is wrapped in a sweetish deep-fried cornmeal dough instead of a soft bread roll, truly utterly disgusting), ice-cream or deep-fried (!) Oreos. Works without fail. 

3. Are you looking for 2 nice compliments by women, one by a man and a bit of general staring? Just wear a bright yellow dress and there you have it ☺. 

It was great!

Let’s do it again soon!

Love,

Joanna

*in collaboration with Coral 

Translated by Eva Ginnell.

Summer granola + 9 more ideas for a “Summer! Now!” feeling.

No matter whether there are grey clouds in the sky right now where you are or the most beautiful sunshine kisses your skin: 

We can decide right here, right now that it’s summer from now on, right? 

Where I am it is understandably not that hard: 

We are on the beach every day, ride in the car with the windows open and music turned up, try new types of ice cream, buy strawberries by the pound at the farmers’ market and watch "Dog whisperer" in the evenings in bed; Pauline generally falls asleep doing so and will surely make every mistake possible in terms of future dog training. 

How did Pauline end up here with us? 

I can explain this in an instant: 

When I saw her picture on Instagram recently, I spontaneously invited her to come and she booked a flight without hesitation. 

(afterwards it occurred to me that I knew Pauline only by sight and we had never before exchanged a whole sentence – but by then it was already too late.) 

Pauline brought even more laughter and summer with her than we had had already and we won’t ever let her go. 

Yet since I can hardly invite all my readers, I will tell you 10 other ideas to create a “Summer! Now!” feeling.

1. Summer granola.

Every time we prepare our own granola we are once more surprised how quickly and easily it is accomplished and how yummy it tastes. 

This granola definitely tastes of summer and beach – light, crunchy and fruity! 

The kids love it!

All you have to do is mix the ingredients and put them in the oven on a cookie sheet.

2. Flea market.

The season is already in full swing, so better get up early on Saturdays and Sundays, grab a coffee-to-go and go on a stress-free outdoor treasure hunt:

Accessories like brooches, vintage prints or maps for framing, or simply books to take on vacation (which you can then leave behind and don’t have to lug back again). 

By the way, you can read HERE how to snatch up the best flea market bargains. 

3. Picnic in the park. 

In this case the simplest version: 

blanket + strawberries + baguette + cheese + hard cider.

All this is packed up in a few minutes (if the refrigerator is empty, simply buy everything in the grocery store on the way), and even if you would rather lie down on the couch in the evening – a quick picnic outside simultaneously recharges and relaxes you, you will see!  

If you want to make this into a bigger affair: you will find ideas and recipes HERE, HERE and HERE.  

4. Flowers.

Even if it is grey and dull outside: just one single fragrant peony on the table will brighten everything. 

It will, of course, be in the small vase you found at the flea market on the weekend ;). 

5. Buy strawberries, rhubarb and asparagus galore.

The season is short and there is a huge selection of delicious sweet fruit and mild asparagus at the farmers’ markets right now! 

The strawberries will be eaten on the spot or blended to make strawberry ice cream (even without an ice-cream maker) or strawberry coconut ice cream.  

There will be pasta with asparagus for lunch or asparagus salad with strawberries and pine nuts.

And in the evenings you will drink to the successful day with homemade rhubarb syrup (topped with champagne or sparkling water). 

6. Body spray.

A must-see for the girls was, of course, Victoria’s Secret; luckily you can also order the deliciously scented body spray via Amazon (HERE).  

Scrumptious!

7. Summer dress with happiness factor. 

Isn’t the perfect summer dress one that is airy, delicate, drapey and a little dreamy? 

I bought this one by Anthropologie, and it is honestly 10 times nicer than on the picture! 

I will show it to you another time. 

8. Movie theater.

A beautiful, funny and deep movie based on a true story: 

Woman in Gold is absolutely worth seeing (about 12 years and up) – not only on rainy days.  

Jil and I enjoyed it very much; it will be in theaters in Germany from June 4, so make sure to put it in your calendar now! 

9. Summer play list.

Folding laundry, driving or taking pictures – everything is so much easier when listening to good music! 

In case you haven’t yet compiled a summer play list, you can either get inspired by my California play list – or else I’d be happy to give you a few ideas, just let me know in the comments.

10. Summer decoration.

If I had a house, these pillows by Tommy Hilfiger would probably adorn the couch: they are simple, pretty and yet summery. 

Unfortunately do I neither have a house nor a couch – and by the look of it, it will take another while, because - as is the case with all construction sites – everything always takes longer than assumed. 

So we have to hold out a little longer in California – tough blow of fate, but we will hang on tight ;). 

It seems that we have the longest summer of our lives ahead of us…

Sommermüsli mit Kirschen und Kokos.

3 Becher Haferflocken

1 1/2 Becher gehackte Mandeln (und ein paar ganze, wenn ihr diese mögt)

1/2 Becher Sonnenblumenkerne

1 Becher Kokosflocken

1 Becher umgesüßte Kokosflakes (gibt es im Supermarkt oder bei Amazon)

2 TL Zimt

1/2 TL Meersalz

3/4 Becher Ahornsirup (oder Honig)

1/2 Becher Olivenöl oder Kokosöl - dieses muss man zuerst leicht erhitzen, damit es flüssig ist)

3/4 Becher getrocknete Kirschen

Den Backofen auf 150° vorheizen.

Alle Zutaten trockenen Zutaten bis auf die Kirschen und die Kokosflakes gut vermischen, alle flüssigen Zutaten in einer extra Schüssel ebenso mischen.

Beides vermengen, auf dem Backblech flach ausbreiten, ca. 40 Min. goldbraun backen, wobei man alle 10 Min. alles gut umrührt.

Auskühlen lassen, mit den Kirschen und den Kokosflocken vermischen.

Cherry and coconut summer granola.  

3 cups rolled oats  

1 1/2 cups chopped almonds (plus some whole ones, if you like) 

1/2 cup sunflower seeds

1 cup shredded coconut

1 cup unsweetened coconut chips (available in grocery stores or at Amazon)

2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp sea salt

3/4 cup maple syrup (or honey)

1/2 cup olive oil or coconut oil – you have to gently heat it so that it is liquid) 

3/4 cup dried cherries 

Preheat oven to 300°.

Mix all ingredients well except for the cherries and the coconut chips; also mix all liquid ingredients in another bowl. 

Mix the two together, spread onto a cookie sheet and bake for about 40 minutes until golden brown, while stirring everything well every 10 minutes. 

Let cool, then mix with cherries and coconut chips. 

What defines your ultimate summer feeling? 

Love,

Joanna

p.s. The images show Noelle and her board, of course – I will show you Pauline another time ;). 

Translated by Ginnell Studio.

About Californians, free dinners and the most beautiful thongs.

Say what you want:  

Californians are hard to beat when it comes to being outgoing and friendly. 

Where else would the Hispanic woman at the gas station’s checkout tell me her family’s story in minute detail, listen to my opinion about it, thank me with tears in her eyes and give me a quick hug – completely ignoring the line of people getting longer and longer, all waiting patiently without once uttering a sigh of annoyance or complaining? 

Where else would I – armed with a big Starbucks cup and the American edition of Vogue magazine – be prepared to wait for hours due to the late arrival of my husband’s flight, but not be able to read even one single page, because I am having an animated 2-hour-long conversation with an elderly Asian gentleman about the cultural differences between East and West – a conversation initiated by a simple “Hi!”? 

Where else would I spontaneously be invited on a fishing boat, kindly encouraged to overcome my shyness towards the crawling, freshly caught crabs, but to pick out the nicest ones and then be sent back home with friendly farewells and a free dinner (including a recipe and detailed how-to advice, because I have never prepared them before)? 

Anyway, we had great fun on the boat and the crabs were one of the most delicious dishes ever – and all of it entirely unexpected and undeserved! 

I took my new shoes for a walk today; they arrived in a package from Germany:  

The thongs are buttery soft, do not cut (like some other models that chafe the big toe a lot) and match any outfit with their subtle metallic look.  

The gilded and silver-plated bracelets by Sence Kopenhagen are equally universally wearable – due to their matte finish they look very luxurious and simple. 

Btw: their size is perfectly adjustable and will fit big as well as very slim wrists! 

I prefer wearing them both at the same time or something with them – but you can also combine one each with a watch in the same color. 

It is really easy to make contact with people here, by the way: 

Wherever I go, first I am asked where my accent is from. My answer prompts nearly EVERYONE to say something about Germany: either an aunt on the father’s side comes from Germany, or they have driven a BMW for years or they own an Alsatian. 

One time the checkout person’s monologue amused me so much (for five minutes he listed all and any BMW models he had ever owned and none of them meant anything to me) that I spontaneously replied: 

"Yes, I know that it's an awesome car, right?

 Actually - it's my family who owns the company." ;)

Sources of supply:

Thongs by Ilse Jacobsen: HERE (mine are pink metallic, they are also available in gold and copper) 

Bracelet by Sence Kopenhagen: HERE

Everything by Inside Living

Love,

Joanna

p.s. I have often heard Americans being reproached as being friendly, but superficial. 

While this may be true in some cases, I still think: 

Rather superficially friendly than deep down unfriendly! 

Thank you to Ginnell Studio for translating this post.