Mittwoch, 12. März 2014

10 things I would say to my daughter, if she left our house.





Let’s suppose my eldest daughter would move out in five days time.
Let’s suppose she would pack her things in five days time to go and live by herself in the Capital – about 600 km away from her parents.

Let’s just suppose that after 19 years she would leave all her friends, her familiar environment and the place she has called home to start from scratch:


What would I tell her on her way out?



This is what I would say…


1. EVERYTHING IS READY FOR YOU.


While you still don’t have any idea how and what and how exactly everything is tailor-made for you by your heavenly Daddy, perfectly, lovingly, with incredible detail. The most beautiful things, people, experiences and places are waiting for you.
Everything will fall into place one by one, everything will come to you at the right time – you can just let go, full of anticipation, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! You do not need to know how everything happens – that’s not your part.
You just start walking, full of curiosity and anticipation, deeply convinced that everything around you is working towards you. You are not responsible for anything else.
You can achieve everything you want.
EVERYTHING YOU WANT. 



2. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FIGHT.


Life is not a battleground for you, no contest, no competition, no “first come, first served”, no “life punishes the ones that come too late”, no “help yourself and God will help you” – rubbish.

You do not have to force anything, manipulate or convince anybody, you do not have to “play tricks” or pretend in order to get something.

Your case is different.
You are always the exception!
You are unrivaled – nobody can take your place or “snatch something away from you”.
Your uniqueness is your strength – that’s why you don’t have to compare yourself to anybody and you don’t have to compete with anybody.


YOU are the best thing about you!
Set out with this awareness – and you will experience that things will work out to your advantage as if by magic. 


Everything is prepared for you.
The table is already set for you.
The red carpet is rolled out.
MAKE WAY! 



3. WHETHER YOU ARE HAPPY OR NOT – YOU DECIDE. 



Everything – I repeat: EVERYTHING – is set up for you to be the happiest you can be every single day of your life.
Nobody else is allowed to decide this – no situation, no other person, no emotion, no negative thought, no misery.

Everything happens in your head.


You make the decision – again and again, every day: today I will be the happiest I can be.

Negative circumstances?

They will pass, you will surpass them and emerge stronger than ever.
Problems?
You are so much greater than any outward problem!
Just look at yourself: does it bother the oak tree, if the wild boar is rubbing against it?
You stay relaxed in the eye of the storm knowing that everything is working in your favor.
How exactly, is not your area of responsibility.
Every night you will sleep peacefully like a baby!
(a bit like when you were born and you slept in my bed every night with your tiny feet on top of my face. I, on the other hand, did not dare to move!)

Feel free to kick anything in the butt that is trying to haunt your sleep.
It is not your thing to worry!
You will wake up every morning and your first thought will be:
hello, my most precious life!

You are neither lethargic, nor listless, nor disheartened – if you notice any of this, away with it!


You are always full of energy, full of beans and joy, while also highly effective and successful. 





4. YOU ARE A QUEEN: BE AWARE OF IT. 


You have inner dignity and class – wherever you go you will effuse this atmosphere around you. No, you do not simply go somewhere, you make an entrance. 

You are never the underdog, you are never the beggar, you are never second choice and you never play second fiddle – NO MATTER what people or circumstances claim.
You are born for the best and only the best is good enough for you. And what is best in a particular situation is not decided by outward appearances – you will know it deep down.

Once you have recognized this in your heart of hearts, you will be swept along into this regal lifestyle – and suddenly you will feel appreciated and elevated – and you will experience what it is like to live a life “above and beyond”.

Life above instead of under the circumstances.




5. YOU WILL NEVER BE POOR OR LONELY.


You will always have more than enough.
And you will never be alone.

You don’t know states of loneliness or deprivation.
No matter what it looks like.
Got it?

Should the current situation tell you the opposite, believe ME more than the situation, OK?

If you are on your own, you are never lonely – you enjoy time by yourself more than anything!
You do not need another person to “make you complete”, you lack nothing, when you are on your own. 



6. MAKE DECISIONS INTUITIVELY.


No weighing of “pros and cons”, no lists “why or why not”, no pondering back and forth.
If something happens in your favor, you WILL KNOW IT. You will always know it – always, always, always!

The world around you might collapse, everybody in sight might tear their hair out and nobody will be able to “see it” – but you will make decisions ONLY in accordance with your innermost self.

You do not have to give reasons to anybody, you do not have to justify anything to anybody, you do not have to explain your motivation to anybody – just do what your heart tells you to do.

All the while you are not lured or influenced by appearances. No matter what a person/situation/circumstance looks like, says, shouts, urges, does, appears to be – you don’t give a damn.

God NEVER guides you through circumstances, outer (time) pressure, an ultimatum (“if you don’t do this now…that will happen then”) or misery.

You are guided by your innermost self.
You can always rely on it.

If you sense something is “weird”, it IS weird.

If you sense that “something is not right here…I can’t put my finger on it..” – then SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT.
You don’t even have to know exactly what it is – hands off.

You will always make the right decision.


(And if you are ever actually confused – even that will be for your own good, ha ha.) 





7. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KISS ANYONE’S ASS.


You will in no situation and under no circumstances distort yourself for other people or kiss ass.
You don’t have to chum up with anybody or sell yourself.
You won’t do anything that absolutely goes against your grain, only to achieve something.
You don’t have to hug arseholes, please people “with influence”, maintain relationships that you honestly find disgusting, but that “might be useful later”.

No matter what the situation looks like!



You are aware of your value – if someone does not want you he is not worthy of you.

Those who want you will have the best time of their lives.
You are never lacking, everything will come to you in its time, you just keep going forward, full of energy and a healthy dose of faith in God! You are the best that can happen to anybody!





8. GIVE GENEROUSLY.



Always be generous – just live your inner abundance!

Give yourself generously to the people around you: always be the one with the most compliments, the strongest words of encouragement, the one who most often opens her wallet, the one with the prettiest gifts – just give incessantly.


Invite people to dinner, pay the bill, whenever possible, give away your things, if someone likes them, live a lifestyle of generosity and bounty. Cheap is maybe cheerful, but generosity is sexy! 
You always want to know who to give to – no pearls before swine.
You are neither social services nor the Salvation Army and everything you give is precious and of inestimable value – honored is whoever you give to!
So if you feel the spontaneous impulse to give something to somebody don’t start to “calculate”. Just do it and be the one who is most thrilled about it.

Don’t hang on to anything – even more beauty and greatness will inevitably follow: those who give will be given to!

So give generously, my darling!
You yourself will always have more and more! 




9. STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE.



It is common practice in our society to deal with criticism and negative things, because “it will make you grow as a person”.

I am telling you: this is not true!

Concentrate ONLY and EXCLUSIVELY on the good, the strong, the positive and the GREAT, as this will bring you more of the strong, the good, the positive and the great.

It’s none of your business what other people think of you. It does not matter to you how others judge you. You are always real, always right, always in great form.


Don’t let the negative energy of others enter your thoughts; entry denied to their worries and their bad experiences.
Petty thoughts, fears, anxiousness, “carefulness”, bad luck – all of those are not your style.
You are the lion, rrroarrr!
Wherever you are is the place to be.
Anyone following your lead has the fantastic opportunity to live (and experience) what you live. Anyone not valueing you is not worthy of you.

You never have to convince anybody, convert him to your belief or try to keep up with anybody – no pearls before swine.


Only those who love you may correct you.

So don’t spend time with people who do not love you or value you – every second arguing with them is a waste of time.
And your time is infinitely precious!

Don’t hesitate to let go of a relationship, if it is not good for you, if it does not make you stronger, does not grant you more freedom, does not make you more wonderful. Something much better is waiting for you, I promise!

Most people will have a hard time adjusting to the way you live.

Their reaction will be one of astonishment, disgust, fascination, incomprehension, head shaking, enthusiasm.
Some will even be shocked!

But that does not affect you.

Someone has to be the first one to live Love ;) – and I think you are perfect for it!
I would have picked you, too!



10. HAVE FUN!



Don’t take everything so seriously – most things ARE NOT serious!

Always have a little song on your lips, kid around as often as possible, dare to fool around, show the world how lighthearted and relaxed you are!


Beam your biggest smile at people, pet dogs, pay for the coffee for the person behind you at Starbuck’s and have the barista draw a smiley face on the cup, pull faces in unexpected moments, swing your hips as soon as you hear music, say “I think we should all go eat ice-cream” in the middle of a “serious atmosphere” meeting, laugh loudly and often.
Most people’s days are so filled with pressure that they won’t even know this anymore, and they will enjoy it immensely!

YOU will bring a lighthearted and untroubled mood – just like a girl with pigtails jumping rope.


Believe me: people WANT to jump rope ;).

They just don’t know that they are allowed to.


Go and show them!






In conclusion let me assure you:

You will shoot up like a rocket.

Anything that challenges you will make your heart stronger in no time.
The most wonderful things are waiting to be discovered and experienced by you – and only by you!

I love you always and I am always boundlessly proud of you!









Yours, Mama


p.s. Truthfully:

I don’t have to write these things down for Jil - she has internalized them long ago ;).
Guess who I wrote them for instead…just as a reminder, maybe ;). (if you love me, you are a part of me! Just like my children!)

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