I recently
told you that the TV program "Shopping Queen“
inspired me to write a series of posts.
For all
those who don’t know the program:
In each
episode one woman is allowed to buy herself an outfit in line with a certain
motto – which other women subsequently
judge by awarding points.
The whole
thing is generally an entertaining TV show – but what does it have to do with
your life?
Just like last time the following text is NOT about the program, but about one
of its individual statements and the connection to your everyday life.
Statements
such as:
2. "The golden buckle on the shoes
doesn’t match the silver zipper on the purse.”
While the
other candidates comment the woman on the catwalk, there is usually one
sentence that makes me laugh every time.
In simple
terms it is this:
"The
golden buckle on the shoes doesn’t match the silver zipper on the purse.”
In my
opinion there is no other sentence that expresses the phenomenon of negative
perspective and fault finding more than this one!
Outfit: TOP
Hair: TOP.
Make-up:
TOP.
Appearance: FANTASTIC.
Just one
second….where is the fault….where is the fault…..ah, look!
"THE
GOLDEN BUCKLE ON THE SHOES DOESN’T MATCH…”
If it wasn’t
so sad, this statement could indeed become an in-joke.
But it is
sad, because it highlights what happens a thousand times in our everyday lives:
not in a TV format, but everywhere in “real” life.
Instead of
concentrating on the beautiful, valuable, great things one goes searching for
faults.
And we all
know: “the one who seeks finds”.
As soon as
you have discovered the fault it does not matter how small and inconsequential
it might be – one simply focuses in on it.
Examples?
"Yes,
the woman is quite pretty, but her shoes are impossible!”
"Yes,
my son is a nice boy, but his spelling is really a disaster!”
"Yes,
we are doing fine, but the weather is really awful: far too cold for August!”
"Yes,
it was a nice barbecue with friends – but you should have been at my side a lot
more, honey!”
"Yes, I
have a new job – but this colleague of mine is driving me crazy.”
(After someone
has complimented you on your new dress): “Yes, thank you – but my legs look so
fat when I wear it.”
This
disgusting search for faults, these horrible little stabs accompanied by
resentment, a bit of envy and narrow-mindedness
– this absolute daily “normal” and “but everybody does it” – looking for
the negative things and making it the main focus: it’s pure poison for you.
„But we have
freedom of speech: I can simply say it, when I don’t like something?!”
Of course.
Any time.
You are free
to damage yourself any time, as much as you want – nobody is going to stop you.
You are free
to live the crappiest life, ruled by rotten thoughts, even more rotten,
confused feelings and dominated by outward circumstances – go right ahead!
Of course
you are free to be a backbiter, but…
WHAT FOR?!
"But
what if I’m right?”
Again:
SO WHAT
FOR?!!!
You can
stuff your “oh, how wonderful I’m right”, you measly little low life.
A negative
mind will NEVER give you a positive life – right?
Thousands
like the quote on facebook and Instagram, hundreds fiercely nod their heads in
consent – and not even 3 minutes later they bitch about a
friend/teacher/boss/child/job/weather/whatever.
Even if you
may find this shocking:
If you
continue like this, this course of action will always prevent you to live the
life you dream of.
If you fill
yourself with negative crap, in the end only negative crap will spill out of
you – even if this crap seems really “harmless”, insignificant or in your eyes
unimportant.
Small BS is
still BS.
And
negative, finger-pointing crap will never bring happiness, love, success and
joy – it is a law of the universe written in stone, similar to the law of
gravity.
Good news is:
You are also
free to decide in favor of love.
To devote
yourself to the good, the strong, the higher good.
You don’t
have to play in the dirt and stand by the wayside to point your finger at
others.
This
behavior has nothing to do with greatness – absolutely nothing with success –
and less than nothing with love.
On the
contrary: searching for faults (whether in yourself or others doesn’t make a
difference in this case) poisons yourself in small doses, makes you bitter,
ugly (sorry, but it’s true), weak and narrows your horizon.
Be aware of
this:
This
behavior is rampant and so “normal” that you will hardly notice it.
We live in a
society that welcomes the critical view on things and people, while a positive
outlook on life is eyed (rather critically, lol), and is even viewed as odd and
bizarre (!) most of the time.
This is the
reason why it will feel a little unusual at first to consciously no longer
tolerate this way of thinking.
Make the
decision (for example right now would be a perfect point in time) that this way
is not worthy of you.
Make the
decision – just for yourself, you don’t have to tell anyone about it! – to no
longer fill your head and mouth with trash, because you consider yourself too
precious for this.
Refuse to
look for faults.
Should you
discover any, refuse to make them the center of attention, to ponder on them
and to talk with others about them.
Even, if
reason yells and rolls around on the ground in a hissy fit like a
three-year-old in the check-out lane (and believe me: it will happen! For years
it was allowed to play in the dirt and suddenly it’s over or what?) – be
decisive and clear:
No.
I won’t be
abused as a muckraker.
See, you are
too GREAT for this low level.
You are
already TOO STRONG for it.
You are TOO
BEAUTIFUL, TOO PRECIOUS, TOO IMPORTANT to continue to harm yourself and others.
It is not
worthy of you!
"But if
I do not deal with my faults, can I work on them?”
Um, no,
don’t.
Deal with
love instead – faults will suddenly not exist anymore at all!
WHICH FAULTS
ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT?!
One piece of
advice:
If you
surround yourself with successful people you will notice that they hardly ever
look for faults: they dream instead, they tackle things, they develop new ideas
and solutions – or they simply have fun!
They are not
even interested in anything else.
So your
guidelines are these:
You are not on this earth to look for faults.
You are here to love.
You are here to radiate an aura of happiness and success.
You are here to represent love itself.
You are here to enjoy life to the extreme.
How does
petty thinking, bitching, pointing fingers become you then?
It doesn’t
become you at all!
Just as a
millionaire does not cry over a little lost coin – just as a cat doesn’t bark –
a love messenger doesn’t search for faults.
Not for her
own nor for those of others.
Because.it.does.not.become.her.
"But
Joanna….if I am not supposed to think about how stupid everyone else is and how
many mistakes they make – what am I going to do all day long?"
Well…LOVE.
(or
alternatively take up crocheting – I personally would prefer loving after all.)
Yes, you
knew that already – I just wanted to remind you.
Oh, you’re
welcome.
Love,