Montag, 7. April 2014

The lamest excuses of all times.

I don’t know anybody who likes being lied to by others.
It’s understandable!

But do you know what’s much worse?
If you lie to YOURSELF.

And this happens every time you use excuses:
Why this or that that doesn’t work for you, why you are not able to change yourself, why this or that reapeatedly goes wrong for you, etc.

Excuses are of a nature that–if you listen superficially–you could very well react by nodding your head:
Yes, I understand… Sure. In YOUR situation.”
In YOUR situation means:
In your particularly terrible, hopeless, catastrophic, first ever, impossible to solve situation–
I, too, would fall into despair and go to the woods to die.
Yeah, sure, I understand.

But let’s say you debunk the excuse as a lie.
Just supposing.
Want me to tell you what would happen then?
You are slightly shocked that you’ve been taken for a ride for so long – by yourself of all people!
You can simply formulate every excuse as the truth–and hey:
It’s really easy to overcome it!

I will show you a few examples–just simple everyday things.
Let’s make it concrete.

1. You have a hard time running a tidy household.
Sure, there are types of people that kind of come into this world with a structure ;).
You always have chaos around you.
You can’t do anything about it, that’s how you are.
It’s too late today to tidy up, there’s too much lying around, it’s not worth even starting, you have to first go and buy clothes hangers, this corner isn’t so terrible at all, blah blah…

I understand.
But you could just as well say:
I am just lazy. Neither myself nor my family are worth it to me to live in a tidy environment.
My own laziness is my main thing. I am too lazy to invest a bit of time every day in a beautiful environment– I’d rather live in squalor.”

So, whatcha think?
Sounds crappy?
Very good.
For you cannot possibly be determined by your laziness– right?

That’s ridiculous– you, a powerful love messenger, gets driven by an absolutely weak and lowly energy in your everyday life?
There you go.

2. You have a hard time to truly relax.
You are a machine, everything has to be finished, everything has to be perfect, nobody can do it better than you (that’s why you delegate very little), you don’t find peace before everything is ship shape, everything has to be 100%, you cannot really enjoy it, you are driven.

Well, but ther’s so much to do, right?
Of course, I understand.

But you might as well say:
I don’t value myself enough to allow my body to enjoy recovery. I don’t love my family enough to make sure I will stay fit and healthy for a long time and not collapse from burnout or a chronic migraine. Shiny clean floors are more important to me. Perfectionism means more to me than a relaxed everyday life with I can simply enjoy.”

So whatcha think?
Bullshit, right?

You know exactly how valuable your life is and how important it is that you stay fit and content for a long time–and it’s also obvious to you that your children will stay with you for just a short time before they move out: during that time you want to live and enjoy every moment!

And that just doesn’t work if you’re driven!
This really can’t be it!

3. You have a hard time losing weight– although you’re obviously overweight and it is your heart’s desire to be slimmer.
After all, you have tried so so many times, and what happened?
Surely it’s due to your metabolism, your heavy bones, and your genes.
You actually eat hardly anything all day (apart from the gallon of Coke and the bag of chips in front of the TV), and you still don’t lose weight.

But you could also just say quite honestly:
I am not able to make decisions for my body.
I am a will-less victim of sugar and fat –one package of Mars bars is stronger than I am.”

This can never ever be!
Baby, you’re infinitely stronger and absolutely able to be the boss of your own body!

4. You have a hard time exercising regularly.
A few weeks ago a friend of mine said to me the following sentence:
When you get up in the morning, drink a glass of water, put on your running shoes– and run! And return only after 20 minutes.”
And I, slightly shocked, thought:
Well, I’ll be damned, if I’m unable to do THAT…?!”

From that day on I got up, and I ran, after the children had left for school.
Every other day.

You have to know that I am usually a consistent denier of all exercise and extremely creative in inventing reasons why I don’t have time/don’t feel like it/can’t find an opportunity to do something sporty.

This one sentence suddenly made it clear to me:
All just excuses.
I lie to myself with wonderful regularity.

So, every time I noticed such thoughts (you know, like ”the weather is bad today, I don’t have time, I don’t feel like it, I can just as well do it tomorrow, blah blah blah…”) I turned them around and explicitly told myself:
Another excuse!
OMG, how many excuses can one come up with?!

It’s nearly like a circus act – I can sit and watch my own performance and be entertained by all the excuses, they are so diverse!

Then at least you could be honest for once and clearly say:
I don’t value myself enough to keep my body fit and healthy. My life is so insignificant that it doesn’t matter whether I will have back problems at some point or whether I will hardly manage to climb the stairs.
Everything else has priority for me except that my body stays powerful and healthy.” 

Oops…scary, right?
Do you really want to think like that about yourself?

5. You have ideas and dreams concerning your future.
You actually want to achieve this and that, and you have oh so many goals – only so far nothing has happened. 
But it isn’t your fault, there are many reasons for it!
You have no time, no money, no possibilities, no partners, no storefront, no opportunity.

Of course, it’s understandable. 

OR you are honest for once and you say:
"I use every possible excuse in order to not have to make a start. I use everything as an obstacle – I think small and weak thoughts about myself. I am not able to overcome difficulties and I give up in the face of any little challenge. 
I don’t love myself enough to overcome the fear and live my dream. 
On top of it I am too lazy to take little steps. I’d rather wait until one day a million Euros fall from the sky.”

You don’t seriously want to say that about yourself, do you?
Or DO YOU?!!!

A slug could think that about itself, fine.
THAT I could understand.
Not YOU, though!

6. You are scared.
Scared to lose your partner, that everybody might get sick, to lose your job/to not be able to find a new one, to go broke or become lonesome, that you can’t manage your life, that your children turn into good-for-nothings, that your business goes bankrupt, etc.

But bad news are everywhere and you still remember vividly how hard it hit Uncle Hans that time – where is the guarantee that it won’t hit you? You win one, you lose one, c'est la vie, right?

Of course, I understand. 

Or, ON THE OTHER HAND, you admit:
"I believe in fear more than in love. I don’t trust God at all, who gave me a new life – I continue living like a dog. Despite being a king I let myself be ruled by circumstances, fears and worries. I believe in the visible and the experiences more than in God, my father, who loves me endlessly. My case isn’t any different, although I represent Him on earth. Yes, He tells me I am able to live differently – but I’d rather believe in feelings and circumstances. All in all I am only weak and incapable, although the strongest of them all lives in me."

You are a creature of love, reborn for the second time from God – you don’t even KNOW worries!
There is no fear in heaven, didn’t you know?!
Neither is there death, suffering, unhappiness, poverty, etc.: these things don’t even enter your atmosphere! 

"But Joanna, Uncle Hans also did…”.

Sorry, excuse.
Excuse, excuse, excuse.

I could go on and on to infinity with these examples – as mentioned earlier: one performance after another. 

Did you feel a little uncomfortable, a little stung here and there? 
Or do you feel a bit angry with me or even stepped on?
I’m telling you: excuses don’t like to be unmasked as such!
That makes them mad indeed!
After all: YOUR situation is particularly hopeless, right?

A few weeks ago I had to battle with a major challenge.
I felt really crappy – every now and again I had to cry because of it(and believe me: anybody would have been sympathetic). 

After a few days I was sitting at the dining room table, when Noelle walked up the stairs.
She briefly looked over to me and in that moment I literally erupted: 
"Noelle, I feel so grotty.”
Noelle (her eyes as big as saucers in surprise): ”Oh goodness? What’s up, Mama?!”
I (first tears rolling down):"Because, well, you know what..."
Noelle (even more surprised): “You are really crying because of that?!!!”
I (a total mess by now):”Yes …sniffle. I’ve cried all week. But only, when you were in school.”

This was the moment when Noelle couldn’t hold back anymore: "YOU. ARE. NOT. SERIOUS."
She started to laugh.
She laughed so hard that tears were now also running down HER cheeks, she had to sit down on the steps and hold her stomach.
She gasped for breath and in between she kept repeating:
 "Oh Mama, stop…that’s too funny…”
Ever so often I tried to look horrified, but that made her laugh even more.
"Mama, you are so strong – and now you’re just bawling? I can’t stop…that’s just too funny!""But, Noelle: it isn’t exactly as if I haven’t tried not to be sad anymore. But I just can’t manage."
Noelle’s response:"Sorry, but THIS IS THE LAMEST EXCUSE EVER.”
And:"I’m going to my room now – and you make sure you don’t DROWN in self-pity!” 

I know that some of you would surely feel hurt, if somebody talked to you like that in the face of horrible circumstances.
It’s so much nicer, if you just say: ”Of course, I understand…”.

ALTERNATIVELY, HOWEVER, you stop taking yourself for a ride and you say it as it is:

I can’t possibly let a circumstance rule over me like that.
I won’t allow something external to deprive me of my zest for life.I am stronger than anything else.
Love itself lives inside of me, there is no space for fear.I love and value myself so much that I care about my health and my body.I manage my own life and won’t let depression, passive behavior and laziness stop me.
My life is important, that’s why I look after myself and my environment.
I am so precious that I don’t shed any tears over people or things that are not worthy of me.
I am able to overcome any difficulties, only to emerge even stronger afterwards.
I am free and I shall remain free.
I am happy as can be!

Everything else is just a lame excuse ;). 

With love,

This post was translated by Eva Ginnell.

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