10 things I would say to my daughter, if she left our house.

Let’s suppose my eldest daughter would move out in five days time.

Let’s suppose she would pack her things in five days time to go and live by herself in the Capital – about 600 km away from her parents.

Let’s just suppose that after 19 years she would leave all her friends, her familiar environment and the place she has called home to start from scratch:

What would I tell her on her way out?



This is what I would say…

1. EVERYTHING IS READY FOR YOU.

While you still don’t have any idea how and what and how exactly everything is tailor-made for you by your heavenly Daddy, perfectly, lovingly, with incredible detail. The most beautiful things, people, experiences and places are waiting for you.
Everything will fall into place one by one, everything will come to you at the right time – you can just let go, full of anticipation, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! You do not need to know how everything happens – that’s not your part.
You just start walking, full of curiosity and anticipation, deeply convinced that everything around you is working towards you. You are not responsible for anything else.

You can achieve everything you want.

EVERYTHING YOU WANT. 

2. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FIGHT.

Life is not a battleground for you, no contest, no competition, no “first come, first served”, no “life punishes the ones that come too late”, no “help yourself and God will help you” – rubbish.

You do not have to force anything, manipulate or convince anybody, you do not have to “play tricks” or pretend in order to get something.
Your case is different.
You are always the exception!
You are unrivaled – nobody can take your place or “snatch something away from you”.
Your uniqueness is your strength – that’s why you don’t have to compare yourself to anybody and you don’t have to compete with anybody.

YOU are the best thing about you!
Set out with this awareness – and you will experience that things will work out to your advantage as if by magic. 

Everything is prepared for you.
The table is already set for you.
The red carpet is rolled out.
MAKE WAY! 

3. WHETHER YOU ARE HAPPY OR NOT – YOU DECIDE. 

Everything – I repeat: EVERYTHING – is set up for you to be the happiest you can be every single day of your life.
Nobody else is allowed to decide this – no situation, no other person, no emotion, no negative thought, no misery.

Everything happens in your head.

You make the decision – again and again, every day: today I will be the happiest I can be.

Negative circumstances?
They will pass, you will surpass them and emerge stronger than ever.
Problems?
You are so much greater than any outward problem!
Just look at yourself: does it bother the oak tree, if the wild boar is rubbing against it?
You stay relaxed in the eye of the storm knowing that everything is working in your favor.
How exactly, is not your area of responsibility.

Every night you will sleep peacefully like a baby!
(a bit like when you were born and you slept in my bed every night with your tiny feet on top of my face. I, on the other hand, did not dare to move!)

Feel free to kick anything in the butt that is trying to haunt your sleep.

It is not your thing to worry!

You will wake up every morning and your first thought will be:
hello, my most precious life!

You are neither lethargic, nor listless, nor disheartened – if you notice any of this, away with it!

You are always full of energy, full of beans and joy, while also highly effective and successful. 

4. YOU ARE A QUEEN: BE AWARE OF IT. 

You have inner dignity and class – wherever you go you will effuse this atmosphere around you. No, you do not simply go somewhere, you make an entrance. 

You are never the underdog, you are never the beggar, you are never second choice and you never play second fiddle – NO MATTER what people or circumstances claim.
You are born for the best and only the best is good enough for you. And what is best in a particular situation is not decided by outward appearances – you will know it deep down.

Once you have recognized this in your heart of hearts, you will be swept along into this regal lifestyle – and suddenly you will feel appreciated and elevated – and you will experience what it is like to live a life “above and beyond”.
Life above instead of under the circumstances.

5. YOU WILL NEVER BE POOR OR LONELY.

You will always have more than enough.
And you will never be alone.

You don’t know states of loneliness or deprivation.

No matter what it looks like.
Got it?

Should the current situation tell you the opposite, believe ME more than the situation, OK?
If you are on your own, you are never lonely – you enjoy time by yourself more than anything!
You do not need another person to “make you complete”, you lack nothing, when you are on your own. 

6. MAKE DECISIONS INTUITIVELY.

No weighing of “pros and cons”, no lists “why or why not”, no pondering back and forth.
If something happens in your favor, you WILL KNOW IT. You will always know it – always, always, always!

The world around you might collapse, everybody in sight might tear their hair out and nobody will be able to “see it” – but you will make decisions ONLY in accordance with your innermost self.
You do not have to give reasons to anybody, you do not have to justify anything to anybody, you do not have to explain your motivation to anybody – just do what your heart tells you to do.

All the while you are not lured or influenced by appearances. No matter what a person/situation/circumstance looks like, says, shouts, urges, does, appears to be – you don’t give a damn.
God NEVER guides you through circumstances, outer (time) pressure, an ultimatum (“if you don’t do this now…that will happen then”) or misery.

You are guided by your innermost self.

You can always rely on it.

If you sense something is “weird”, it IS weird.
If you sense that “something is not right here…I can’t put my finger on it..” – then SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT.
You don’t even have to know exactly what it is – hands off.

You will always make the right decision.

(And if you are ever actually confused – even that will be for your own good, ha ha.) 

7. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO KISS ANYONE’S ASS.

You will in no situation and under no circumstances distort yourself for other people or kiss ass.
You don’t have to chum up with anybody or sell yourself.
You won’t do anything that absolutely goes against your grain, only to achieve something.
You don’t have to hug arseholes, please people “with influence”, maintain relationships that you honestly find disgusting, but that “might be useful later”.

No matter what the situation looks like!


You are aware of your value – if someone does not want you he is not worthy of you.
Those who want you will have the best time of their lives.
You are never lacking, everything will come to you in its time, you just keep going forward, full of energy and a healthy dose of faith in God! You are the best that can happen to anybody!

8. GIVE GENEROUSLY.

Always be generous – just live your inner abundance!

Give yourself generously to the people around you: always be the one with the most compliments, the strongest words of encouragement, the one who most often opens her wallet, the one with the prettiest gifts – just give incessantly.

Invite people to dinner, pay the bill, whenever possible, give away your things, if someone likes them, live a lifestyle of generosity and bounty. Cheap is maybe cheerful, but generosity is sexy! 

You always want to know who to give to – no pearls before swine.
You are neither social services nor the Salvation Army and everything you give is precious and of inestimable value – honored is whoever you give to!
So if you feel the spontaneous impulse to give something to somebody don’t start to “calculate”. Just do it and be the one who is most thrilled about it.

Don’t hang on to anything – even more beauty and greatness will inevitably follow: those who give will be given to!
So give generously, my darling!
You yourself will always have more and more! 

9. STAY AWAY FROM NEGATIVE PEOPLE.

It is common practice in our society to deal with criticism and negative things, because “it will make you grow as a person”.

I am telling you: this is not true!
Concentrate ONLY and EXCLUSIVELY on the good, the strong, the positive and the GREAT, as this will bring you more of the strong, the good, the positive and the great.

It’s none of your business what other people think of you. It does not matter to you how others judge you. You are always real, always right, always in great form.

Don’t let the negative energy of others enter your thoughts; entry denied to their worries and their bad experiences.

Petty thoughts, fears, anxiousness, “carefulness”, bad luck – all of those are not your style.
You are the lion, rrroarrr!

Wherever you are is the place to be.
Anyone following your lead has the fantastic opportunity to live (and experience) what you live. Anyone not valueing you is not worthy of you.

You never have to convince anybody, convert him to your belief or try to keep up with anybody – no pearls before swine.

Only those who love you may correct you.
So don’t spend time with people who do not love you or value you – every second arguing with them is a waste of time.
And your time is infinitely precious!

Don’t hesitate to let go of a relationship, if it is not good for you, if it does not make you stronger, does not grant you more freedom, does not make you more wonderful. Something much better is waiting for you, I promise!

Most people will have a hard time adjusting to the way you live.
Their reaction will be one of astonishment, disgust, fascination, incomprehension, head shaking, enthusiasm.
Some will even be shocked!

But that does not affect you.
Someone has to be the first one to live Love ;) – and I think you are perfect for it!
I would have picked you, too!

10. HAVE FUN!

Don’t take everything so seriously – most things ARE NOT serious!

Always have a little song on your lips, kid around as often as possible, dare to fool around, show the world how lighthearted and relaxed you are!

Beam your biggest smile at people, pet dogs, pay for the coffee for the person behind you at Starbuck’s and have the barista draw a smiley face on the cup, pull faces in unexpected moments, swing your hips as soon as you hear music, say “I think we should all go eat ice-cream” in the middle of a “serious atmosphere” meeting, laugh loudly and often.

Most people’s days are so filled with pressure that they won’t even know this anymore, and they will enjoy it immensely!

YOU will bring a lighthearted and untroubled mood – just like a girl with pigtails jumping rope.

Believe me: people WANT to jump rope ;).
They just don’t know that they are allowed to.


Go and show them!

In conclusion let me assure you:

You will shoot up like a rocket.
Anything that challenges you will make your heart stronger in no time.
The most wonderful things are waiting to be discovered and experienced by you – and only by you!

I love you always and I am always boundlessly proud of you!

Yours, Mama


p.s. Truthfully:
I don’t have to write these things down for Jil - she has internalized them long ago ;).
Guess who I wrote them for instead…just as a reminder, maybe ;). (if you love me, you are a part of me! Just like my children!)

growing stronger

I know, you guys – all of you - dont have any problems at all.

It’s all so very easy: baking cookies and stroking your lovely childrens’ heads.

Well, IF you do know somebody who’s having a hard time right now – e.g. the mother in law of the neighbour of the cousin of third grade of the fathers’ side – then you just show this person this text, okay?

No commitment, of course.

Because today I’d like to encourage those of you, who are being confronted with challenges in their lives right now.

My hearts’ desire it to make you feel as good as possible in these (hard) times!

And that, when they’re over, you’re much stronger than ever been before!

So that’s why THIS will be important for you…



1. Don’t ever believe in circumstances.

It’s easy: 

Don’t ever believe that your life is only tough, challenging, haunted by bad luck and, in general, without any chance of success.

DO NOT BELIEVE THAT!

It’s a pattern, soooooo often used and just soooo boring:

You’re dealing with „yucky“ circumstances, then your thoughts pick up the vibe and tell you, you can’t do it, you just won’t succeed, you’re just not clever enough, not pretty enough, you don’t deserve any better, the whole thing was bound to fail from the beginning on (of course!), it’s all your fault, always the same shit, you’re the problem yourself, bla bla blaaaaaa…

And here comes my contribution:

Yaaaaaaaawn.

Boring.

JUST DON’T BELIEVE IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

Just because a dog breaks its’ leg doesn’t mean it’s not a dog anymore, right?

Just because you’re facing challenging times…

You’ll always be my strongest, most beautiful love messenger, full of good luck, presenting love here, amazingly pretty and desirable!

You remain the person who’s the positive exception, the person that enjoys life at ease, the one who succeeds in e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g., who inspires everybody and the one who’s admired by the whole wide world.

You don’t need to travel far to find your luck because it’s inside you, yourself!

DID WE GET THAT STRAIGHT?!!

YOU ARE THE ONE AND YOU REMAIN TO BE A LOVE MESSENGER!

A dog that’s howling is still a dog, right?

Please understand- don’t let problems and bad circumstances design who you are or what your life is all about!

Don’t believe the thoughts that seem to represent the obvious.

„Hey but Joanna… what if, I really made a mistake and now I’m in trouble and it actually is my fault?“

We’re not in a „You get what you deserve“ show, baby!

(If that would bet he case, there wouldn’t have been the need of the cross.)

We’re right in the „You’re being loved and blessed, so truly and widely, impartial of your work. 

Your mistakes are ‚all inclusive’, do not worry. 

You’re just right and I’m so amazed by- you, that ONLY good things will follow, because… because I love you sooooo much!“ vibe!

THAT’S what you believe- and not the other stupid rubbish, okay?

Does that sound new to you?

Well, Welcome to my life.

„Yeah well, great Joanna. YOUR life. But my life was never like that.“

That’s what I’m saying: Welcome to the new life.
There’s just ONE life, and that’s love.

What your life was about until now is so unimportant, promise.

That’s why it’s called: NEW life.

And not: your old life „in a better version“.

I’m not writing this because it’s fun (erm… ok, maybe a little bit. I’m having so much fun doing it, really!) or because I don’t have anything better to do, but, because:

I don’t want you to struggle one second of your precious time.

I’m writing this to help you and to make you strong.

Circumstances are nothing but circumstances.

No less, no more.

And that has NOTHING to do with you, okay?

2. Remain in love.

Your feelings might shout and yell (Oh, and IF they’re going to do that!), your thoughts will be going up and down (but do not have any fun while bouncing around) but YOU REMAIN IN LOVE.

Just be assured- you’re being loved endlessly and everything will work out for you.

Believe in love and believe in its’ great power.

„Yep. I’ve been through so much, I’ll deal with that too now.“

Erm… No.

That’s not strength- that’s hardness.

But your heart should remain soft and not hardened up.

If you notice something like „I can do it, I’m tough enough, I don’t need any help“ in your thoughts and feelings, be carefull because that’s actually bitterness and not strength.

Make a decision against that!

Make that decision today and kick hardness out of your life and, then, give into my love.

This isn’t any kind of strange „soul coaching“ and I’m not pitying you because „your life is tough“ but this is- universes greatest power: I’m building you up, filling you up with joy and motivating you, „Go, baby, go!“

Speaking of motivation …

3. Feed yourself with strength and joy.

Oh YES! 

You can do that conciously.

Surround yourself with things and people that make you happy and positive and, that give you strength and joy.

(…and talking of things- I don’t mean „shoes“. Bummer ey?)

No, you feel it, when something’s good.

So just focus on that.

Conciously.

Don’t watch the circumstances, look at the good things.

Focus on strength, success, on YOU.

„But Joannaaaa … I can’t notice anything beautiful when looking at myself.“

Gosh, then just look at ME.

I’m the most beautiful and strong thing you can see right now- and attention:

You’re looking at YOURSELF while looking at me.

I’ll be your mirror. Okay?

Even if it’s quite understandable and very tempting:

Don’t listen to depressive music and don’t watch films with a sad ending, don’t read books that are full of trouble and melancholy and please- PLEEEEAAASE- don’t meet people that are depressed, negative, adust or that pity you and reassure you that „it’s always you who’s struggling“.

Oh and: Don’t read blogs of people with similar problems or sicknesses to yours!

I know- feelings LOVE self-pity parties.

They love to invite everybody and soak in the bad luck and make it stronger.

Yeah.

Well, but it was still „kinda nice and they - at least - understand me and my situation“, right?

Yes. Great.

I prefer just one person who sets me free much rather than five people who "understand" me.

„But it’s doing me good…“

No, darling.

That is so not the case.

Do you want to become stronger, or not?

Do you want to move on or do you prefer hanging around the same rubbish year for year for ye..?

It’s your decision- I’m not angry at you if you want to stay with that pile of crap.

But, to be honest: Is that really your style?

That might have been the case in the past – but as I said –

new, new, new.

4. Everytime you chose love and joy over believing in bad circumstances, you become stronger.

Be honest: Being perky when everything’s fine isn’t hard at all.

Bouncing and dancing around happily when everything’s okay- well, everybody can do that.

But to be unimpressed with the negativity around you and smiling full of joy (and maybe not even noticing that these are tough times, actually)- THAT is real strength!

Be assured: you’re like an athlete, who doesn’t always want to work out and train, and it’s tough, and he or she is sweating and sometimes the athlete just doesn’t feel like it all.

But then he or she breaks the record.

Just a little while ago, I had a „not so positive“ situation and I briefed my husband in on it.

Noelle heard me and as she was walking by, she said, very chilled,

„Oh come on mum, you’re so strong. You’re so much stronger than even a year ago. Nobody can harm you!“

BAAAAAAAAM.

That felt truly great.

So, you see: If you’re going through difficulties in your life and, if you’re focussed on love within yourself, then you really are sooooooo strong, that nothing and nobody can harm you :) .

Does that mean, difficulties are something positive?

NO, no way!

No challenge or bad circumstance is positive.

No bad situation or full on phase that you’re going through symbolises something good.

God doesn’t ever want to „show you“ something, „teach you“ something or „help“ you with problems.

That would be very twisted.

God neeeeverrrrrr shows you your way through problems, remember that!

He doesn’t use negativity to bring out positivity.

And, generally:

Your circumstances aren’t here to stay!

The situation will change- so radically, you won’t even believe it because things will be so beautiful and amazing!

Your life will be so good, so full of joy, so successful and so gorgeous!

Everything will be great, my darling, promise!

„But Joanna… Everything’s always so tough and hard for me…“

Pfffft. I don’t care.

Your old life is over, love- and your new life starts now and here!

In love

Joanna