Dienstag, 4. November 2014


I may have a very high tolerance threshold for most things – my motto always is:
"if something’s not relaxed, I don’t want it – get rid of it.”
The consequence is that I have a very relaxed attitude towards many everyday situations, and if something does not work out perfectly it isn’t all that bad.

Yet there is one area where I decided to apply a zero tolerance strategy – an area where I am absolutely consistent and do not allow myself any loopholes.

More concretely this means for me:


Brief explanation:

“Outside” to me means all emotions and thoughts that are NOT love or joy.

Or else, to say it in an even simpler way:

anything that does not build me up, inspire me, encourage me, make me laugh, challenge me (in a good kind of way), further me, pushe me, allow me to enjoy and giggle with joy – I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE.
Anything that oppresses me, takes away my perspective, demoralizes me, scares me, bores me, makes me feel small – GET RID OF IT.

I cannot necessarily change situations or circumstances immediately – but the show inside of my head, that’s my decision.

And ONLY my decision. 

And I decided: love and joy.
I don’t allow anything else into my home my head.

Of course it is a fact that  - depending on the state of the nation – this or that circumstance would like to provoke the exact opposite of joy and enthusiasm.

It’s obvious:
those who do not have any challenges in their lives are either already dead or have settled so nicely into their comfort zones that they might as well be buried alive.

As this type of person, in either case, rarely reads my blog (nobody can stand it in the long run, what with all this awfully good mood all the time and everything…) – I assume that you do not belong to either of the above mentioned group of people.

I assume that you made a decision in favor of love – to walk this path above anything else.

The path that is beyond all circumstances, stronger than any sorrow, more powerful than any distress, deficiencies and sadness.
Or as I would express it: “if love does not get its act together in this situation– we all might as well give up.”
I am aware of it: if I trust in love (=God), I am simply ALWAYS on the winning team.
From birth.
No matter what’s coming my way.

Should I still discover something other than trust and love in my head, I make short work of it:

I don’t just allow it to happen to me.
In my opinion my days are too precious, my life is too precious, my being is too precious for this (and by the way: you as my readers are also too precious for me to allow myself to feel bad. I love you too passionately for this and I want you to always receive only the very best and most beautiful from me, like a well you can dive into). 

I refuse to feel weighed down.
I don’t allow anything (or anybody – even myself!) to rob me of joy and energy.
The rational mind may recite its arguments,  the emotions may go crazy – I don’t care at all!
I stand up, figuratively, and make short work of it!
I crack down on it and won’t accept it!
Maybe my kitchen floor isn’t perfect and maybe there is chaos in my sock drawer – but I simply WILL NOT allow for chaos inside of me. 

"But Joanna, how do I do this….?”


I never want to show you a METHOD.
I hate all types of applications – although I know that many would love it (“tell me rule #1 through 5, how to achieve …in 3 weeks, blabla…”).
The rational mind, as we all know, is quite keen on that kind of stuff.

But I don’t even want you to go through the motions of a mental training or program – there are enough self-help books and stuff about it already.

All my heart is on fire for:

allow yourself to be inspired by me – inhale me, so to speak – trust my love – then you will naturally stand up, figuratively, and say:
"Alright, enough is enough. Love and joy and nothing else for me.”
It will happen, sooner or later, I guarantee it!

So it is not so much the DOING, but more the BEING. 

Being a love messenger.
Being from God.

If you are love, you will love yourself with such force that you are too worthy to be dragged down by outward things.

It’s obvious: how are others supposed to feel good because of you, if you yourself don’t feel good? 

Nope, my darling: your life is in heaven as it is on earth.
And you are always in high spirits in heaven.

"But Joanna, it’s normal in life to experience ups and downs. You win some and you lose some, that’s the way it is. It’s the same for everyone else, too.”

It might be true, that it’s the same for EVERYONE else – for the vast majority for sure.

But what do you care how badly off everyone else is?!
Why do you want to use a lowly, rotten standard of everyone else as justification for your own bad mood?

For you it is NOT the norm that you are afraid of a conversation, that you have a stomach ache before an appointment, that Mondays make you feel queasy, that you wake up to fear, that something causes long-term stress, overwhelms you, scares you, depresses you or makes you sad.

Or – like my daughters would say: IT DOES NOT EXIST IN MY WORLD.

"But Joanna, it does exist and you know it!”

I am certainly not cuckoo or naïve, but it is a fact:
You and I: we might live on the same planet, but in a completely different world!

Look, I have a totally different standard – simply because I have an entirely different, new life.

A life where I control things instead of having them control me.
A life where there is no “funny, queasy feeling” in my stomach.
A life where desperation, suffering or insecurity do not exist.
A life void of things like deficiency or self-doubt.

And this life is on the inside – the circumstances are on the outside.

I simply believe more in the inside than the outside, that’s all.
So if my mind and my emotions want to tell me that all these bad things actually do exist (which is understandable, since they always look towards the outside, a bit like lemmings) – I let them know:


Sometimes I say to my children:

"what other people call “good”, we call “crap”.
And it’s right – I want them to never use other people’s low standards as an excuse to lead a mediocre life themselves.
The bad stuff other people accept in their lives does not at all have to apply to us.
And my standard is simply: ZERO TOLERANCE.

"But Joanna, how does it work in practice…?”

Oh, you and your “practice”!

In practice I speak. And dance. And laugh. And speak. And ignore. And dance.

Everything in random order and absolutely not preplanned.

In practice I AUDIBLY tell myself the truth.

If, for example, emotions want to put me under pressure in a stressful situation, I say it OUT LOUD to myself:
"Everything runs according to plan. I am managing it with joy and ease while other things simply settle into place. I won’t be rushed or put under pressure, I’m doing this with ease – pressure: go away! Oh, thank you for this life!”
Something like that, I don’t have a memorized sequence ;). It’s no method, after all, I just don’t want to tolerate it, that’s all. 

And then?
Pay attention: then I ignore the emotions and just believe MORE in my words!
And do not, three minutes later, lapse back into being hectic and rushing everyone, because I still feel the pressure or because it still looks like an awful lot of work, you get it?

In practice I dance.

I found out that – no matter how dramatic a situation may be – it becomes less horrific, if I dance wildly and without inhibitions.
To very, very loud, energetic (and happy, duh!) music.
I can’t quote a bible verse for this (would not be a problem for any of the other topics ;)) – but fact is:
when I dance first of all my body expresses joy and lightness.
And suddenly the huuuuuuge drama is not so huge anymore.
No kidding!

So: maybe not quite verifiable from a theological point of view, but it works every time!

Important: it is NOT enough to just listen to the music.
You have to dance to it!
Real wild all over the place!
Just tapping your foot is not enough either!

(on the other hand I also dance when everything is going really well – so you can’t really call this a method… just saying…)

In practice I audibly express joy whenever I see somebody who likes me. 

I am really good at that, simply laughing out loud – it just means that I express the joy that is inside of me on the outside.
It was only briefly hidden by some emotional rubbish, so I give it the space it deserves, woohooo!
I am a world champion joy-expresser, and you can indeed practice this discipline! 

In practice I might speak again, if I sense even the SLIGHTEST hint of an awkward atmosphere.
Zerotolerancestrategy, remember.

If the awkwardness does not disappear immediately I just ignore it.

These rotten energies just love to be at the center of attention, to rule the day, to cast a shadow on everything, such that you can’t delight in nearly anything anymore.  
They love, love, love your attention!
The less you look at the drama, the less power it will have over you.

Maybe another little dance?

Noelle often turns her music to the max and dances so wildly and wonderfully through the living room, that I cannot help myself but join in ;).

"But Joanna, what if I do all that and the bad feeling is still lingering?”

You remain relaxed and firm – and trust in love (if love does not get its act together with you – we all might as well give up, right?).

Look: NEVER put yourself under whatever kind of pressure.

It is never about accomplishments – you do not have to prove anything to anyone, not to yourself, not to God, not to me.
It is all a process, and a lovely one to boot.
Always look at the one moment when it worked – even if it was only for 5 minutes!
Don’t get discouraged, keep going! Everything else is not important, as it will change anyway.

You are simply relaxed and you are certain: you are OK. You have all the time in the world, I love you and believe in you – you will see how you will become stronger, more free and happier, every day, step by step.

I know I wrote about it often before, but honestly: you feel the other crap daily, too, don’t you?
So I cannot repeat the good things often enough.

And that’s why I tell you:

And all the other crap: ZERO TOLERANCE!



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